frist day feeling like a human again / erster Tag als Mensch

I want this to go in its own post because it is a reason to celebrate.

Having splitting headaches which make you want to throw up with every movement of your head and then being left alone with it is inhumane.

The light sensitivity and sensitivity to noise still is big, and only
wearing sunglasses and earplugs makes it bearable.
But ...
Thanks to the weekend doctor, I was given relief, and after taking a slightly higher dose of what she prescribed first, I felt like ripping out trees today for the first time after more than a month and a half.

Of course I will go slow, but I can do things!!

I can get up and actually not feel like throwing up.

I can get out of the house and breathe fresh air without feeling I will faint from pain and hurt myself while falling.

I can read a book again without the feeling my eyes pop out of my skull.

I can eat something without the feeling it will come back out.

I can clean my kitties litter box without throwing up.

I can get to sleep and stay there when I turn.

Maybe next week I can go to my yoga class again.

My blood pressure is not down in the dumpsters any more.

I can sit up for longer again without having the feeling my brain is sucked out of my toes.

I can finally knit again.

I can just be and enjoy being again.


Thanks so much to the weekend doc again for taking my problems seriously and try to give relieve soon.

Believing me and not assuming you know better than me what is going on.

Now I just have to be patient and wait for the pain clinics questionair and appointment and maybe we even can find out what is causing this.

I do not believe in being in a real depression, I was overwhelmed and tired in the past. I still feel very misunderstood often and my Aspergers Syndrome can be a real bitch at times and interfere in everything I try to communicate.

I will not give up though.

There will be work with my therapist and she sure will be told about this ordeal, and we will work on my social and communication skills till I am content with them and dont keep landing in such frustrating interactions.